As Walter Scott wrote:

"Love rules the court, the camp, the grove,

And men below and saints above,

For love is heaven, and heaven is love".

In recent months, there has been much hullabaloo about the virtues of women dating and marrying younger men. Yet, a persistent chorus can be heard from in-the-know females who assert what we all have assumed or known for decades, even centuries: The older man has many desirable qualities that should not be overlooked.

Older men make you feel special; they give you everything you need – emotional, mental and physical support. They give you so much attention, and they make you feel wanted and needed. Older men give you respect. They make you feel like a queen.

Many women agree. And while the older woman-younger man relationship is a controversial, relatively modern phenomenon, the younger woman-older man union is and long has been more of the norm as far as romantic matches goes. To some, it is what is expected. To many, it is not at all unusual. But the question to ask and answer is just how much older is the older man!?

Through the centuries it has not been uncommon for women to marry men old enough to be their fathers. There are many examples from Biblical times, and throughout European and African history there are prominent illustrations. In most civilizations this kind of union was acceptable and encouraged. Men prided themselves in getting the youngest, purest-looking women they could find; it was a symbol of prestige and power and manhood. In addition, society traditionally dictates that men should be the providers, the leaders, and the heads of the household.

These days, as they have done throughout the centuries, women are realizing or rediscovering that when it comes to men, older can be better and it often is just that. Many women dismiss the advances made by younger men because they feel that youthful pursuers don't have as much to offer as their older counterparts. I want somebody who is already mature, who knows who he is and what he wants. A lot of younger men expect the older woman to take care of them, and I'm not going to do that. That's not my style. I'm from the old school.

Women give numerous reasons why they prefer older men. One reason cemented in time and tradition is that women usually prefer men who are financially stable, and in most cases the most financially secure men are those who are older men who are established. In past times when a teenage girl married an older man, it was somewhat influenced by the fact he already had establish himself in a business or profession and he was in a much better position to take care of his wife than men her own age.

I find that older men more often are more stable and more chivalrous, and I appreciate both these qualities. Older men know what they want in a relationship. They know what they want out of life. They can entertain wine and dine a younger woman - court her the old-fashioned way. They are not uncertain about themselves, as younger men sometimes can be. Especially since younger men still are trying to establish themselves in the corporate world. Older men have more time to devote to a relationship, while younger men are still struggling to find out who they are and to become more secure. Older men can help bolster a woman financially as well as bolster her self-esteem.

I've dated men who are about my age, but they just couldn't get it together.

In this and many other cases, money is not so much an inducement, as the maturity and social graces - the chivalry - that many older men offer. The guys my age are so immature. They claim to be chivalrous yet they are void of social grace and don't quite know how to treat a woman, how to open doors and pull out chairs, or even that they need to reply to an email sent to them! To me these things are just basic when it comes to a relationship.

For the woman, summer-winter “Cheeni Kum” relationships indeed can be advantageous, especially if she is a high achiever with a lot of drive - like me :-) The woman will not have to worry about her man competing with her for success because he's secure in his own job or profession, and she will definitely not pose a competitive threat to him either. And because he's older and more experienced, he can share his wisdom and advice with his younger wife and assist her with the goals to which she aspires.

There is, however, a flip side to this as well! Many older men who shower young women with money and gifts actually are controlling, authoritative men who feel that they are paying the cost to be the boss. Sometimes that can lead to very unhealthy relationships; the "more healthy" relationship with an older man involves a woman who has her own income and interests and one who makes her own decisions.

Many young women marry much-older men, but as they grow and mature themselves, their emerging independence can wreak havoc on the relationship, even when the man is not excessively controlling or authoritative. The important Q here is - "Can the older man handle this?"

Though women should be mindful of these points, it should be emphasized that older men have a lot to offer. Like with men of all ages, there are good picks and there are the not-so-good picks. And many older men take great pleasure in pampering and spoiling their women! Much unlike the younger man, who wants to be at the receiving end of the pampering and spoiling!

Another noteworthy attribute worth pointing out here is that - With an older man, you don't have to worry about him leaving you for younger women. You are the younger woman!! J